


Caring

by lavashipper



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Implied Sarumi, M/M, SaruMi - Freeform, fushimi pov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5498828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavashipper/pseuds/lavashipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saruhiko thinks about Misaki after being rescued by Douhan, and wonders what it means to care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 1am and it's my first k project work. Don't kill me.

After being rescued by Misaki, followed by Hirasaka Douhan, Saruhiko expected himself to feel like he needed to prove himself once again. He didn't. At all. His mind was somewhere else, so much so that by the time Douhan had got him back to one of Scepter 4's vans he was actually shocked to realise he didn't notice the journey going past. _Is it normal to be this distracted?_ Not that he cared what was normal. He'd stopped caring what was normal for the healthy mind a long time ago. In fact, did he ever care? Maybe he should care. Did he care about anything? _Misaki_.

Saruhiko, for a moment, wondered why the words care and Misaki were close by each other in his train of thoughts. Saruhiko was thinking about him, definitely. All his thoughts were Misaki-centric. But was there ever a time when they weren't? Saruhiko did his work, for his King. His King. Misaki had phrased it perfectly. A _100 point answer._ If an idiot like him could understand his connection to the Blues, then he could figure out how to say things so an idiot could understand. To explain things to Misaki. To patch things up with him. _Patch things up?_ It wasn't a tear in a pair of jeans. He wasn't patching anything. Nonetheless, he wasn't even surprised when he came to the realisation that he cared about Misaki.

He thought back to everything that had just happened. Just before this mission started he'd taunted Misaki as usual. "Come after me." He had finished it with. Within that desperate taunt, an attempt to get Misaki's attention, what he'd craved all this time, he had let his feelings show without realising it. _Come after me._ Deep inside he had hoped Misaki would come after him. But was that caring for Misaki? Or was that just his own obsession? Misaki's attention was what he craved. Did that mean he cared about Misaki?

Constantly, throughout everything, there had been fear in the back of Saruhiko's mind. Fear for his own life? Fighting that green brat, when he thought it was all over, he was exasperated. Annoyed. He didn't want to die. He wondered why he took the mission in the first place. How stupid of him. But he'd done it for his King. Just like Misaki had said, had understood. Saruhiko wondered why he was more irritated at the thought of dying than scared. _Probably not normal either._ Then what did he fear? What was the fear in the back of his mind? Misaki.

He recalled all too clearly the fear when the green brat nearly did it, nearly took Misaki away from him. Did Misaki hear the anguish in his voice as he screamed his name, throwing a knife without a second thought, desperate to protect him? He was more scared at the thought of Misaki's death than of his own? Is that caring? Even now, after being rescued, he was still terrified. Misaki was still in there, still could get hurt, or worse. _Fear_. Was fear the same thing as caring? The same thing as love? A derivative of love? So fearing for someone else equated to love? Saruhiko began to laugh, startling the clansmen in the Scepter 4 van, probably sounding unhinged, unhealthy, abnormal, he didn't care.

 He was so, _so_ terrified.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A second chapter because the last one ended too open?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't going to have another chapter, then it did, because I wanted it to end a bit happier.

So his terror meant he loved Misaki?

It wasn't implausible. In fact, Saruhiko knew it was true. He'd chased Misaki's attention for years. He recalled staring at the ceiling in the Scepter 4 dorms, lost in some sort of heartbroken thought, after one of his fights with Misaki, and then realised what his thinking was all along.

If Misaki wouldn't love him, Misaki would hate him. If you want someone to love you, it means you love them too, doesn't it? But Misaki didn't hate him anymore. So did that mean the only other option was for Misaki to love him?

_Is this what one would call wishful thinking?_

Was he wishing for Misaki to love him now, the same as he had done all along? Did that mean he should make Misaki hate him again? No. Misaki had saved him. He wouldn't hurt Misaki, he wouldn't hurt him out of his own crazed thoughts. Misaki had saved him. Did that mean Misaki cared, or couldn't handle his death on his conscience?

The more he thought about it, the more he realised that Misaki had to care. Care? Did Misaki fear like he did? He remembered Misaki shouting his name during the fight with the game brat. So Misaki cared? Feared? Loved him? "Let's talk later!" wasn't an empty promise, surely?

Saruhiko realised that Misaki had left the building now, that he was safe, and with that thought, some of the worry left him. A lot of it. Misaki was safe, Misaki was going to talk to him again.

Misaki was talking to some of his Homra people first. Saruhiko expected himself to feel angry or jealous, but he didn't. Misaki was safe.

Was he maturing? Tch, maturing. He wasn't a piece of cheese. But becoming happier maybe? Improving? Becoming someone Misaki would love?

He realised Misaki was talking to Munakata. And Munakata had pointed in his direction. Misaki was already coming to talk. How could he explain things to Misaki in a way the idiot would understand?

Misaki was getting closer, but Saruhiko froze. What was going to happen now? What had changed? What was about to become of them? Their relationship? From friends, to sort-of-enemies, to allies, to friends again? To something more?

Misaki stopped in front of Saruhiko. Saruhiko refused to meet his eye.

And then Misaki hugged him.

Who had last hugged Saruhiko? He didn't even know how to respond. Was Misaki the last one? Really? Tch, a cliche.

After a second, Saruhiko hugged him back.

  
They'd talk later. 


End file.
